My Story

I did everything I was “supposed” to do… I went to college, got good grades, graduated in 4 years, got engaged, got married, bought a home, had 2 kids, had a 6 figure income in a job that was admirable, had good friends, enjoyed my husband, was a loving parent, and lived in a location that felt like home.

Yet… I was on anti-depressants, was anxious and many days just did not want to get out of bed!  There was something missing.  I would say to myself… everything is fine, why aren’t you happy?! I was going through the motions… but I was not truly present and connected to my life.  I had my body and mind working on all cylinders, but my Spirit was dim.  It was being over ridden by societal expectations and programs, and fear based perspectives. 

I was stressed out by life and was over extended by obligation to others and trying to be perfect.  I was who I thought I should be, but really did not know who I was.  I was barely filling my own cup and was not allowing much stillness in my life for self reflection to consider some of the big questions of life.  What are my deepest desires?  What is my purpose?  What do I want to change?  What do I believe in?  How am I affecting others?  How do I want to influence my children and other people’s children?  What are my strengths and how can I best put them forth in the world?

My discontent with externally focused living became louder and louder until it finally manifested a game changer… an initiation through crisis… which for me, was a divorce.

This change ignited an awakening process and I opened up to the idea of being a multi-dimensional being who is creating my physical reality here on earth.  I started interacting more with the supportive higher power that is available to us, and it proved itself to me time and time again.  Being able to sense this support eased the anxiety that I had known for as long as I can remember.

I see Angels and Spirit guides as beings of light… the light being Source / God / the Universe.  What you call it does not matter, just as long as you are calling it!  We have free will and we can believe anything we want, and those beliefs will be the foundation of our experiences.  If you think you have to go it alone and carry the weight of the world on your shoulders without the support of a benevolent and loving Universe, then so it shall be.

I began an unlearning process to shed my limited beliefs and programming about spirituality.  For me the underlying program has been 3-fold… it encompasses believing that my higher power is judgmental, that it is something outside of me, and that it knows better than me.  Over the last few years, and not always in the most enjoyable way, I have had experiences to help me dismantle these beliefs.

I have discovered that …

1) the Divine is not judgmental, judgment comes from the ego / lower mind.  

2) the Divine is as much inside of you as it is outside of you… it is everything and everywhere

3) there is no “right path”… you have your own answers lying quietly with-in and your life path is connected to your choices as much as it is any pre-determined destiny.

God, Spirit guides and Angels are not going to tell you what to want, what you “should” do or what the plan is.  They are going to encourage you to DECIDE and empower you to realize that you are creating your life through the thoughts you have, the words you say, and choices you make.  There is history living in your subconscious that is affecting it all, but how you respond is what turns fate into destiny… its what turns challenges into opportunities …and turns pain into wisdom.

My life looks drastically different now than it did 13 years ago.  I was laid off from my corporate job.  I am friends with my ex-husband, who I successfully co-parent with.  My children are thriving and have a healthy relationship with Spirit (which I think is missing for many kids in our society).  I have made the dream come true of having a horse property in Boulder, CO.  I have amazing and supportive connections in my community and with friends and family.  I am engaging in romantic experiences that are promoting growth, intimacy, and playfulness while reflecting back to me the love (and sometimes lack there of) that I have for myself.  I work for myself doing what I love and welcome in Universal support in a myriad of ways to receive support for my kids and I.  I have a flexible schedule that allows time for self care, being a present and pro-active parent, and doing things that I love.

I am still in progress and always will be.  I still have challenges, but am able recognize the hidden treasures with-in them.  I still have fears, but I am much more likely to face them then to let them take over.  My light is no longer dim, it is bright and I willingly shine it out.  I extend it to those I love, to those I don’t like so much, and most importantly to myself.  

Sincerely,

Maggie Carraher